Book Review Rating Scale


Disclaimer: This enigma of a Rating Scale was lovingly created with reference to nostalgia, fun, and book snacks. I hope my book reviews add delicious, potentially illogical, & sentimental vibes for your reading pleasure. All book reviews can be found in the Feral Footnotes. Cheers & #SorrynotSorry


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Millennial Snack Quality Book Rating Scale

Curated and Endorsed by:

The Millennial Menace


  1. Soggy Lunchable Cracker: A tragic start. Instant regret. Why did I open this?
  2. Burnt Bagel Bite: Bare functional. Leaves me craving sustenance.
  3. Unfrosted Strawberry Pop-Tart: Meh. Could survive, could cry. Who’s to say?
  4. Lukewarm Tropical Punch KoolAid: KoolAid Man uses the front door instead of crashing through the wall. Big build-up. Anti-climactic results.
  5. Wilted Fruit Roll-Up: Passable comfort. Mild joy. Some disappointment. Sticky.
  6. Cold Snapple: Solid. Not exciting, but it sustains me.
  7. Blue Raspberry Gusher: Sweet, fun, and slightly messy. Makes your tongue turn blue.
  8. Capri Sun with Bendable Straw: Almost peak energy. Nostalgia hits hard.
  9. Cosmic Brownie: Classic. Iconic. Delicious. Comfort levels high.
  10. Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart: Legendary. Pure joy. Makes me feral. Likely to purchase all variant covers and run out of shelving.


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Actual Disclaimer: I am not sponsored, endorsed, or in any way affiliated with any of the snack brands mentioned above. All opinions, praise, and excessive enthusiasm for the relevance of amazing snacks, beverages, and/or other treats in reference to the quality of any referenced books are 100% my own. This also goes for books: all recommendations, praise, and unsolicited literary wisdom are 100% my own.



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